Genesis Two – Notes on Marriage
Lots of wedding ceremonies refer back to the story of Adam and Eve, specifically to Genesis 2:24-25. God had previously stated (in 2:18) that “It is not good for the man to be alone,” and spoke of His intention to make a helper for Adam. Then, Adam was given the task of naming the animals, and perhaps in the process of doing that he had been searching for that “helper” that God had mentioned. However, verse 20 states, “… for Adam there was not found a helper suitable for him.”
The Scripture continues, “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept …” (a divine anesthetic prior to the world’s first surgery?) “… then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man” (2:21-22).
Adam’s response was remarkable! (Much as is that of a groom when his bride appears at the back of the sanctuary, beautiful in her wedding gown, and escorted in on the arm of her father!) “The man said,
‘This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
She shall be called Woman,
Because she was taken out of Man.’” (2:23)
Adam was excited, to say the least!
The importance of the words in the next two verses can hardly be questioned! Let’s consider four foundations for marriage contained in those two verses (2:24-25). “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.”
Let me note that Adam and Eve obviously did not have earthly parents, so these concepts are mentioned here because they became the norm for all succeeding generations.
The first foundation is found in the word “leave”. When a wedding occurs, there is a change in relationship between the ones being married and their parents. The husband is the one addressed here, but obviously both marriage partners will experience the same change. Prior to this, they have lived in the homes of their own parents and family. Now, as they begin a new family, things change! The word used in Scripture is “leave”, “… a man shall leave his father and his mother …”.
Children, throughout childhood, are taught to be under their parents’ authority and to obey them. Now, as they “leave” them, a change of relationship occurs. However, they are still called upon by Scripture to “honor” their parents, but their relationship has changed. In marriage, the primary person in the life of both husband and wife is to be their partner.
The second foundation is found in the next words, “… cleave unto his wife …” (KJV) or “… be united to his wife …” I like the word “cleave” because it means to stick like glue; marriage is to be a permanent relationship! I mentioned in my previous post the words of Jesus in Matthew 19:6 after He quoted these verses from Genesis, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.”
Which brings up the third foundation, “… they shall become one flesh.” A major characteristic of marriage is to be oneness, unity, or “one flesh”! Let me offer a quote concerning this idea of oneness: “The one flesh in marriage is not just a physical phenomenon, but a uniting of the totality of two personalities. In marriage, we are one flesh by vow, economically by sharing, logistically by adjusting time and agreeing on the disbursement of all life’s resources, experientially by trudging through the dark valleys and standing victoriously on the peaks of success, and sexually by the bonding of our bodies.” [Louis H. Evans, Jr., Hebrews: The Communicator’s Commentary Series (Waco, Tex.: Word Publishing, 1985), p. 243.]
So, the “one flesh” concept is larger than we might first expect. Most of us only grow to understand it as we share our lives together in the living out of our wedding vows! I will come back to this in a moment.
The fourth foundational concept is from Genesis 2:25, “And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” There is to be, in the marriage relationship, an openness, a transparency, a “nakedness” that includes but is far more than physical! There is to be a communication that is characterized by unconditional love, respect, and acceptance! This can only be developed over time; it’s not a magical change that occurs on your wedding day! But it’s worth the effort; just wait and see! Let me also say, and emphasize, that “physical” nakedness is only to occur within the marriage relationship!
Before I conclude this article, I want to go back to the “one flesh” idea. Notice that for Adam and Eve, their first connection was with God, the heavenly Father! This is a “spiritual” relationship, and before the possibility of a wedding is even discussed, the man and the woman need to ensure that they are both on the same (or very similar) “spiritual” foundation. Spiritual oneness must always come first!
Then, if there is a spiritual oneness, consider what we might call “soul” oneness (as in the term “soul-mate”)! How do the two of you fit together in your thinking and how well do your personalities connect? Usually opposites attract, so I’m not talking about being alike, but how well do you really like each other? How well do you enjoy this person you are falling in love with? How deep is your love for one another? Are you really “friends”? Keep the order correct; first is “spiritual” oneness, then “soul” oneness. Love God first, then you’ll be able to love your mate!
Again, make sure your “spiritual” beliefs and your relationships to God are in agreement; both of you need to be “Christians” (saved, born again) and in agreement on the church denomination you will attend and raise your children in! Then, make certain that your life styles, your personalities, and your values agree enough, and that you discover you are truly “soul mates”! In addition, make sure you’ve had sufficient time to develop your love for one another! Only then should you consider marriage.
The last part of the “one flesh” relationship, the physical sexual part, should occur only after the wedding! Only then will the “one flesh” relationship be appropriate and blessed by God! Remember to get it right, “spirit, soul, body” – in that order!
Marriage is God’s idea and if we will follow His plan, married life will be wonderful! And, I might add, will grow more wonderful as you share your lives over the course of years!
Everything is About God 