On every subject of importance, we first need to know God’s thoughts since He is the creator and designer of everything that exists. Searching for God’s plans for humanity, we must begin where the Scriptures begin, with the creation. What can we learn from those beginning pages of the Bible about the most basic of human relationships? Since the first two chapters of Genesis concern events that occurred before sin entered the world, we can find information about God’s original intentions before the world became distorted by sin. What can we learn about God’s view concerning marriage, family, and human sexuality?
God’s Original Pattern Genesis 1 – 2
Before creating humans, God created a variety of living things, and He designed them to continue on, to reproduce. First, the plants in Gen 1:11-12, and then animals in 1:20-25. Each was to reproduce “after their kind” as they multiplied and filled the earth. Then, when God created humans “in His own image” according to 1:26-28, they also were to “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” There was, however, a great difference; of all living things, only humans were created in God’s image and their status was to be over all the rest of creation. From the sexual standpoint, for both animals and people, reproduction requires a male and a female. For the animals, such multiplication appears to be governed primarily by instinct. But it is not so for people.
Gen 1:27 says, “God created man in His own mage, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.” It is the male and female together that best reveals the image of God. Then notice God’s first recorded words spoken to the first human couple, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth …” Although the sexual relationship between the man and woman will be shown in Scripture to have other purposes, it is the purpose of reproduction that is first declared as part of God’s plan and design in the creation.
In the second chapter of Genesis, the author narrows the focus of the creation narrative, zeroing in on the creation of humankind, backing up to retell the story from that point of view. In 2:7 we read, “Then the LORD God formed man of the dust from the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.” Later, God states, 2:18 “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make a helper suitable for him.” The mate would be “suitable for” or “corresponding to” the man. By declaring the need of the man for a mate and by the action of God to meet that need, we find the foundations for marriage and family. The man needs a wife; the woman meets the need of the husband; together they will be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth. All this is by God’s original and good design.
We then read in 2:21-22, “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.” The man’s response is recorded in poetic form in 2:23, “This is now bone of my bones, And flesh of my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of Man.” The Hebrew word for man is “Ish” and the word for woman is “Ishah” thus showing the likeness between the two. These words are found throughout the Old Testament, and most frequently translated into English as “husband” and “wife” respectively.
The two verses that follow set the pattern for marriage, for the relationship between the husband and his wife, 2:24-25. “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” First, there is to be a transition from being under the authority of parents to the beginning of a new primary relationship, that of husband and wife. Secondly, the joining together speaks of a strong commitment to one another, later in Scripture referred to as a covenant. Thirdly, the idea of a “one flesh” relationship is far more than simply the physical, sexual union; the unity in marriage involves the whole person and the entirety of their lives together. Finally, the reference to being “naked and … not ashamed” is an indication of the openness, the transparency, of the relationship between husband and wife on every level. This pattern for marriage was made before sin came into the world; this is God’s original intent.
Many centuries later Jesus quoted these verses in response to a question about divorce, Mt 19:4-9, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning MADE THEM MALE AND FEMALE, and said, ‘FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH’? … Because of your hardness of heart Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but from the beginning it has not been this way.” Jesus thereby reaffirmed God’s original pattern (from the beginning).
We shouldn’t miss the statement in Gen 2:22, that God “brought her to the man.” Notice the context, the Creator “fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man.” The personal care of God in fashioning the woman and then in presenting her to the man shows the value God placed on this relationship. The bond of marriage is a sacred connection, designed by God.
We should also notice that at the time of their creation, there was no shame, no fear, and no guilt; the relationship of husband and wife was exactly as God designed it should be. The original pattern is made clear. There has never been, in the experience of humanity, a stronger relationship between people than that of the marriage relationship when experienced as God intended.
The History of Sin as it Affected Marriage, Family, and Sexuality Gen 3-19
Without detailing the account of “the Fall” of humanity into sin (Gen 3), it can simply be said that both Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, the first husband and wife, fell into sin by disobeying a direct command of God after being tempted to do so by the “serpent.” One of the things Adam and Eve quickly realized was that they were naked, 3:7, so they tried to cover their nakedness with fig leaves. God came looking for them and when they heard Him coming, they hid themselves. God called out, 3:9, “Where are you?” Adam responded by saying that when he heard God coming, 3:10, “… I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid myself.” Of course, God already knew what had happened but was giving them a chance to confess. Instead, Adam blamed Eve and Eve blamed the serpent. Sin, once recognized, always brings guilt, fear, and shame and often blaming others for our own failures.
As part of God’s declaration of the consequences of their sin, He says to the woman, 3:16, “I will greatly multiply your pain in childbirth …” and “Your desire will be for your husband. And he will rule over you.” The New Living Translation tries to clarify what is said about the husband wife relationship, “And you will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.” So, we see that one of the results of sin is a tendency to bring conflict into the marriage relationship! It is still true today. A further result of the sin of Adam and Eve is their eviction from the Garden of Eden.
Gen 4 relates the deterioration of humanity and society before many years go by. The first two children mentioned are two sons born to Adam and Eve; their names were Cain and Abel. Cain murders his brother and is then condemned to be a wanderer. Through a brief genealogy, we find one of his descendants, a few generations later, breaks the pattern that God had given for marriage by marrying two wives, 4:19. The narrative doesn’t tell us, at that point, whether this was good or bad, but in the history that follows every time a man has more than one wife there are negative results.
Society grows worse as sin abounds and by the time we reach Gen 6:5-7, we read, “Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. The LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth, and He was grieved in His heart. The LORD said, ‘I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land …” However, 6:8, there was one man who “found favor in the eyes of the LORD.” The story that follows tells how God gave Noah instructions to build a large boat in which God would save him and his family and preserve all the various kinds of animals. God then sent a flood on the earth and all the rest of humankind was lost, but Noah, his wife, his three sons and their wives, were saved.
Starting over with this family did not solve the problem of sin. An incident that clearly shows the fallen nature of humanity is recorded in Gen 9:20-27. Noah made wine, drank too much and “… became drunk, and uncovered himself inside the tent.” One of his sons saw him and told the others. The other two sons, “… took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father.” A contrast here needs to be noticed. Before sin came into the world, Adam and Eve were said to be, “naked and … not ashamed,” but here, nakedness is not to be seen by others.
After many generations have gone by, God chooses Abram (who later is renamed Abraham) and begins to unfold a plan to bring salvation into the world, a way for people to regain a right relationship with God and with one another. God’s original promises to Abraham are recorded in Gen 12:1-3; God promises to give Abraham a family with many descendants, to bless him and to make him a blessing to others. In fact, God declares, “And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed.” The ultimate fulfillment of that promise is found in Jesus Christ, who came to “save His people from their sins,” (Matt 1:21). Abraham was far from perfect and though he tried to follow God’s plan, he often failed. One failure that has reference to families was his marriage to a second wife, Hagar, and the son that was born to them, with all the resulting conflict and problems.
Another incident in the life of Abraham further illustrates the sinfulness of humanity as well as tells us much about God’s purposes for the family. In Gen 18 God appears to Abraham along with two others, who are apparently angels as we will find out as the story unfolds. God is there to reaffirm His promise of a son to Abraham and to Sarah, but as the time of His visit is concluding, we learn something about the plans of God for Abraham, and for all families. God decides to tell Abraham about His second purpose for being there but first makes a comment about His plan for Abraham and the world. Gen 18:19, “For I have chosen him, so that he may command his children and his household after him to keep the ways of the LORD by doing righteousness and justice, so that the LORD may bring upon Abraham what He has spoken about him.” God’s purposes for marriage and family include the plan to teach the ways of the Lord to the next generation, ways that are characterized by righteousness and justice.
Then God revealed to Abraham the second purpose of His visit, one that concerned Abraham’s nephew, Lot, who had moved some distance away and was living in the city of Sodom. The Lord tells Abraham, 18:20, “The outcry of Sodom and Gomorrah is indeed great, and their sin is exceedingly grave.” Abraham attempts to convince the Lord not to destroy those cities by holding out the hope that there are some righteous people there as well. Abraham asks, 18:23, “Will You indeed sweep away the righteous with the wicked?” As he pleads with God, he says further, 18:25, “… Far be it from You! Shall not the Judge of all the earth deal justly?” Abraham rightly recognizes that God is the supreme Judge and that He is the God of true justice! The attempted negotiation ends in 18:32 when Abraham requested that if there are at least ten righteous people in Sodom, would He spare the city. God says, “I will not destroy it on account of the ten,” As we will see, there were not even ten righteous people in those cities.
In the following chapter, we find that when the two angels arrived in Sodom, Lot invited them into his home as an act of hospitality. That evening, 19:4, we find revealed the sort of wickedness that was the cause of God’s judgment. A large group of the city’s men surrounded Lot’s home, saying, “Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us that we may have relations with them.” The angels miraculously caused the men to be blinded so they could not find the door and thus, Lot and his family and his angelic visitors were kept safe. The angels told Lot of their purpose, 19:13, “… we are about to destroy this place, because their outcry has become so great before the LORD that the LORD has sent us to destroy it.” Without going into the details of the story, Lot and his two daughters were the only ones saved from the destruction. The next morning, 19:24, “… the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven.”
The only specific sin mentioned here of which the people of Sodom were guilty was the sexual sin of homosexuality or sodomy, actually named after this city. In addition, Eze 16:49-50 declares other sins of which the people of Sodom were guilty, “Behold, this was the guilt of your sister Sodom; she and her daughters had arrogance, abundant food and careless ease, but she did not help the poor and needy. Thus they were haughty and committed abominations before Me. Therefore I removed them when I saw it.” Perhaps because of their abundance they became arrogant and out of their pride came their practice of abominations. The very names of Sodom and Gomorrah are used throughout Scripture and history as examples of great sin that brought the judgment of God. Notice the statement of Jude 1:7, “Sodom and Gomorrah and the cities around them … indulged in gross immorality and went after strange flesh, [and] are exhibited as an example in undergoing the punishment of eternal fire.”We ought to remember that in Gen 18:19 the ways of God are described as “righteousness and justice” and in 18:25 God is recognized as “the Judge of all the earth …” who will certainly “… deal justly.” We then see in the very next chapter, Gen 19, that God demonstrated this in His actions toward Sodom and Gomorrah; “… the LORD rained on Sodom and Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the LORD out of heaven.” His actions were just.
As we saw God’s original plan for marriage and family in the first two chapters of Genesis, so we have seen in the chapters that followed how sin caused the plan to be broken and rejected. Rejecting God’s ways is always detrimental to individuals, families, and to society. The negative effects of rejecting or ignoring God’s plan is shown time and time again throughout the remainder of Genesis.
God’s Will for Family, Marriage, and Sexuality in the Old Covenant Law Exodus 20
There is much to be learned about God’s ways in the Old Testament Law. The Ten Commandments provide a summary of God’s will. The first four of the commandments refer to having a proper belief and reverence concerning God, Ex 20:2-11. “… You shall have no other gods before Me … You shall not make for yourself an idol … You shall not take the name of the LORD your God in vain … Remember the sabbath day to keep it holy …” The other six commandments, 20:12-17, refer to the way people should treat other people. Because of these two emphases of the Ten Commandments Jesus declared that all of the OT Law could be summed up in two commandments, Matt 22:36-40. A Jewish leader asked Jesus, “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, ” ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.’ On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets.” The first, to love God, covers the first four of the Ten and the other six fall under the second, to love your neighbor.
Two of the Ten Commandments deal specifically with marriage and family, the fifth and the seventh commandments, “Honor your father and your mother,” and “You shall not commit adultery.” As God set the standard in Genesis, the family is to consist of a father, a mother, and their children. Of course, sin has often caused these standards to be broken and families often consist of broken homes and families. It is important to realize, however, that God will build or rebuild His ways into our homes to whatever extent He can as long as we allow Him to do so.
The seventh commandment, Ex 20:14, simply says, “You shall not commit adultery.” The context of such faithfulness is the marriage, faithfulness to your spouse, and is equally applied to both husband and wife. Adultery is defined as having sexual relations with a person other than the one to whom you are married. A similar word, also found is Scripture, is fornication and refers to an unmarried person having sexual relations with another unmarried person. The word is usually translated in the NIV as “sexual immorality.” Jesus said in Matt 15:19, “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, adulteries, fornications, thefts, false witness, slanders.” He was speaking of the things that defile a person and such things begin in the heart. Sexual sins were as rampant in Bible times as they are today, but God’s standards have never changed.
The Ten Commandments are a summary of God’s will for our lives. Throughout the remainder of Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy, the Law is expanded and explained. The sin of adultery is only one of several other laws that together define acceptable and unacceptable sexual relations. In Lev 18:3-4, God declared, “You shall not do what is done in the land of Egypt where you lived, nor are you to do what is done in the land of Canaan where I am bringing you; you shall not walk in their statutes. You are to perform My judgments and keep My statutes, to live in accord with them; I am the LORD your God.” The remainder of the chapter lists practices that are not acceptable to God.The list begins with a prohibition of the various forms of incest, 18:6 “None of you shall approach any blood relative of his to uncover nakedness; I am the LORD.” The NIV gives a more modern translation, “No one is to approach any close relative to have sexual relations. I am the LORD.” The forbidden incestual relationships are listed in 18:6-18. Then, 18:20 refers to adultery, having relations with a person married to someone else, “You shall not have intercourse with your neighbor’s wife, to be defiled with her.”
Other sinful practices are also listed here. 18:21 forbids the sacrificing of children to the false god, Molech, which was a practice of the surrounding societies. Then 18:22 states, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female; it is an abomination.” Before we discuss that command further, notice the following verses, 18:23-25. “Also you shall not have intercourse with any animal to be defiled with it, nor shall any woman stand before an animal to mate with it; it is a perversion. Do not defile yourselves by any of these things; for by all these the nations which I am casting out before you have become defiled. For the land has become defiled, therefore I have brought its punishment upon it, so the land has spewed out its inhabitants.” Notice that the reasons the pagan nations were being driven out of the land was not simply to give the land back to the Israelites but was because of their many sins which had “defiled” the land.
Because of today’s controversy concerning same-sex relationships I need to consider the words of 18:22, “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female …” One article I read recently appeals to a German translation from the 1800s that says, “Man shall not lie with young boys as he does with a woman, for it is an abomination.” The same translation was apparently found in Lev 20:13 and a similar one in a New Testament verse, 1 Cor 6:9. However, the German translation misses the point. The word in Leviticus is a Hebrew word, zakar, which is found in the Old Testament over eighty times, and only two times does it refer to boys, both times referring to newly born infants, Isa 66:7 “… she gave birth to a boy,” and Jer 20:15 “… A baby boy has been born to you.” To then translate the word as “young boys” is a mistranslation. The practice of homosexuality with young boys was a part of Greek and Roman cultures and perhaps was the cause of the mistranslation. We must not allow the mistake of that translation to deceive us from God’s original meaning.
New Testament Prohibitions of Sexual Immorality
Consider 1 Cor 6:9-10, “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God.” The Greek term translated here as “homosexual” is arsenokoitai; the word is from two other words, arsen, which is translated as “male” or “men,” and koite, which means “bed” and by implication cohabitation. The preceding listed sin is “effeminate,” and a footnote in the NASB explains, “I.e. effeminate by perversion.” The NIV renders the two words together as “nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders.” The Greek term arsenokoitai is only found twice in the Bible, here and in 1 Tim 1:10 where it appears in a list of sinful practices which are against the law of God. Again, to translate the word as “boy molesters” as in the old German translation mentioned above is simply wrong, a mistranslation.
Modern translations have “homosexuals” in both places, though the King James Version has “abusers of themselves with mankind” and “them that defile themselves with mankind.” The modern word “homosexual” was not in use at the time the KJV was translated. The word itself applies specifically to men, but in Rom 1:26-27, same-sex relations are condemned for both men and women. The word “homosexual” is not used, but the practice is clearly described. “For this reason God gave them over to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.” Same-sex activities were here stated to be “unnatural.” It would be hard to misunderstand the plain teachings of Scripture, which gives us the truth of God’s will and plan for us all.
Conclusion: God’s approved pattern is the same as it has been from the beginning, marriage is to be between one man and one woman. Sexual relations are only acceptable between a husband and his wife within the bounds of their own marriage. All else is forbidden. As the Scripture said at the end of creation, Gen 1:31 “God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” God’s plan is a good one and any practice that turns away from that original and good plan will lead to problems. We should embrace God’s plan for humanity in reference to marriage and family. God’s ways are always the best ways.
Everything is About God 